Monday, December 27, 2010

more than just food

If you know me at all, you know that I love food. Especially avocados.

Though I am known to have quite a sweet tooth, my delight towards healthy, great tasting, mostly vegan food has been growing exponentially (math geek word- I thought you'd enjoy it). And with it, my passion for cooking and creating food has been sparked.

In Bittersweet (brilliant book!), Shauna Niequist says it best:
"From my vantage point, the idea that faith and meaning and all the other important things happen in your mind or soul where no one else can see them is one of the worst by-products of modern Christianity. We are, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, physical beings. And physical isn't negative. If we didn't have bodies, we couldn't feel the sun on our faces or smell the earthy, mushroom-y rich smell of the ground right after rain. If we didn't have bodies, we couldn't wrap our arms around the people we love or taste a perfect tomato at the height of summer. I'm so thankful to live in this physical, messy, blood-and-guts world. I don't want to live in a world that's all dry ideas and theorems. Food is one of the ways we acknowledge our humanity, our appetites, our need for nourishment. And so it may seem trivial or peripheral to some people, but to me, when I'm telling a story, the part about what we ate really does matter."
So here are a few of my recent eats-- not all perfect, but all healthy and satisfying and so much fun to create and enjoy.

First, one of my go-to meals: brown rice, squash, black beans, and as many fresh toppings as I can gather up. Eat with a fork OR scoop up with El Matadors (my favorite method).

Next up-- an attempt at a gluten free version of Angela's Roasted Onion and Tomato Pesto Pizza. I will admit that I definitely didn't make it from scratch, but I did make it between the hours of 11:30pm and 1:30am after waitressing all night, if that counts for anything. :) It didn't turn out as fabulous as I'd hoped, but my roommate Britta graciously joined me in eating it (enjoying it? not so sure) during the wee hours of the morning. I'll have to try this one again sometime.

Another take on the classically delicious squash/rice combo: Roasted Butternut Squash (from the colddd farmer's market) stuffed with brown rice, kale, onions, and carrots. An interesting mix of sweet and savory, but fun and yummy nonetheless. Once again, this was eaten with Britta; we made an exchange: I'd cook her dinner if she edited my senior thesis. Worked out well, I must say!

...and then for Christmas, I received a beautiful new digital camera that takes gorgeous pictures. Right away I called one of my best food buddies and we cooked up a meal at lonely ol' Morris while documenting, of course. Much of the credit for these photos goes to Milly.

This was my first time cooking falafel (confession: it was out of a box)- and it turned out great! We devoured it with wheat pita bread, hummus, onions, tomatoes, mini sweet peppers, avocado, and a side of asparagus. And the final product:

We finished off our food adventure with a long and intense round of Bananagrams. Here's a shot of the WINNER!

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May you find nourishment of body, mind, and spirit in your food favorites and traditions this holiday season.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

goodbye, grand valley

This Christmas season has been BUSY. Between school events, graduation ceremonies and celebrations, substitute teaching, holiday parties, cooking delicious food, job interviews, and Red Robin (typical), I’ve hardly had a moment to relax and appreciate the fact that I am now a college GRADUATE!

I know everyone says this, but the past 3.5 years really have flown by… from my time as a dorky freshman in Nerdmeyer to my wonderful student teaching experience this past semester. it's been challenging and rewarding and frustrating and enlightening; full of new experiences and a whole lot of learning. For now, I am grateful for a long term sub position (kindergarten kiddos!) at the school I have been all semester, two rooms down from 'my' class, and that I will still be living with my closest college friends for a few more months of fun.

So even though the future is incredibly scary and unknown, I'm choosing to celebrate today. There is so much life abounding all around me, especially during this sacred and busy and JOYFUL season. I'm looking forward to some time to read, enjoy my family, exercise, cook, and learn about the God who I can trust with everything, including my future.

"However, as it is written:

What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has imagined
the things God has prepared for those who love him—"

Corinthians 2:9

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

the season of advent

this is quite possibly my favorite time of year: our lovely home has been festively decorated, christmas music plays regularly, and the holidays filled with family and friends (and no school!) linger up ahead. I have always loved and eagerly anticipated the Christmas season.

but for me this year, advent is somehow bursting with more energy and meaning than ever before. I am utterly mesmerized by the promises of advent, the hope and desire and the ways this season has opened and softened my heart. I'm learning so much about God: his goodness and his love, his ability to have a much better plan for us then we may have designed for ourselves, and his power to make all things new. this season is overflowing with potential for each one of us- this is our time to anticipate, tune in, be still and listen for God's presence now. and now. and now.

Frederik Beuchner says:
"The extraordinary thing that is about to happen is matched only by the extraordinary moment just before it happens. Advent is the name of that moment."

Thursday, November 25, 2010

gratitude abounding

My heart is full of thankfulness today. God has been revealing to me his sweetness and goodness lately in significant ways, and I simply can’t miss this moment to stop and say thank you.

Thank you for the joy of cooking and eating (especially today), and thanks that I can share this joy with my lovely mother.

Thank you for the ways in which my sistas and best friends encourage and listen and even laugh at my dumb jokes. Thanks that they have been such a constant, huge, safe, and wonderful part of my life for all of these years.

Thank you for my pets and for all the love and entertainment and companionship they bring to our household.

Thank you for my eighteen students, who lift my spirit and brighten my life every day. Thank you for their eagerness to learn and their sweet interactions.

Thank you for Morris—for all of the love and shalom that goes on in this place. Thank you for my roommates, for their honesty and caring and for the ways we support one another. and for all the other good, passionate people in my life. I am so blessed.

Thank you for my church, for providing me with a place where I can worship, listen, find community, and be comforted and made uncomfortable.

Thank you for my family…for our laughter and our love.

Thank you for HOPE, for bittersweet endings and new beginnings, for my future that is still very much unknown. Thank you for showing up in my life in fresh but familiar ways.

"Let us know the seeds of life's goodness within us and between us. And let us handle it's gifts with wonder." Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

(also, check out Milly’s blog…lots of good stuff going on there:

Monday, November 15, 2010

O God of Life

I don't have it all together. I often let doubt and fear take over, and I sometimes forget that my God is a good God who desires to bless me and create new beginning after new beginning inside of me and in my world. Lately I've been unsure of what to pray for in my life... and it's comforting to know that I don't always have to have the right words. It's enough to ask, beg, even plead for God to simply show up. To be near. To work in me in ways that I cannot communicate. He listens and cares and blesses us whether we ask for it or not. And he places people in our lives that can give their presence and their love that heals and encourages and acknowledges our paths.

I'm also grateful that when I don't have the words, someone else usually does.
This is my prayer tonight:

O God of life,
who chooses creation over chaos
and new beginnings over emptiness,
we bring to you the disorder of our nation
and the emptiness of our lives and relationships.
Bless us and all the nations with the grace of creativity.
Bless us and all people with the hope of new beginnings.

Source: Celtic Treasure: Daily Scripture and Prayer by J. Philip Newell

Sunday, November 7, 2010

To Mom and Dad

Today, I say thank you. Thank you for loving each other the way you do. Thank you for raising me in a home full of adoration and selflessness and laughter. Thank you for showing me that love, in its truest, most fundamental form, is real. Love is alive and moving at the very same time that it’s constant and steady, and I know that because of you.

Happy 23rd Anniversary!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

you are good.

I receive an average of 14 drawings/notes a day from my students, and this one happens to be my favorite. can you tell why? :)

(keep in mind that this young man doesn't really read or write and was not aware of what was written)

if you're wondering what he meant to write, check the title (and think backwards). so precious and so innocent are these little ones! they crack me up every day.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

In the Beginning

It’s a Friday night-- the dishes are piled up due to a broken hot water heater, my eyelids are starting to droop much more exaggeratedly, a pile of research waits longingly for my attention, and I just dribbled dessert on my sweatshirt (whoops). In the midst of this season of busyness and a demanding schedule, genuine, less than perfect moments of quiet, stillness, and rest are both precious and needed. I am appreciating that kind of moment tonight.

Here at 716 Morris, the drawer underneath the oven hardly opens; the floors creak loudly. The back right burner on the stove refuses to ignite, and Harryson the large and hairy spider clings himself to my bedroom window every evening (I don’t mind). This structure is not flawless by any means, but it’s real. and there’s so much to love about that. Real conversations, real friendships, real food (of course), and real s p a c e for me to live each day just a little bit better than the day before.

So for now, I’m writing. Who knows what this blog may become-- food? photos? random thoughts?-- but my intention is to share what’s on my heart or mind... whether it be butternut squash or Jesus or something in between. thanks in advance for reading!

Happy Friday, friends. May you find rest today.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Saying Goodbye

Today was our last day of teaching. I was very sad to leave my precious students, and they were also sad to see me go. This whole experience, especially the teaching, has blessed me more than I can begin to explain. I am so thankful for everything I have gone through during what has honestly been the best six weeks of my life.

During our first break, I met the kids outside as usual to hang out with them while eating lunch. As I walked out, two girls approached me and asked if I would help them unzip their jackets. Knowing something was up, I played along and unzipped them to find letters, cards, and various other gifts for me that they wanted to surprised me with. I was overwhelmed by their thoughtfulness! One sweet girl decorated a shoebox for me and filled it with some of her only possessions- chocolate biscuits, a cell phone pouch, a picture of her, and an American dollar. These children have so little to give, but are willing to give so much. I think we could all learn something from that.

I left each student with a letter, a picture, a new pencil, and their very own book. I placed the books and things on their desks while they were out for break-- you should've heard and seen them as they spotted the gifts awaiting them. There was very loud scream, enthusiastic jumping, and I was attacked by several enormous hugs. These students are incredibly grateful for whatever they receive, and the impact of that is definitely rewarding. Although these children also present many more challenges than what I have experienced back home, watching them with their new books made everything worth it.

The day came to a close as I reread their favorite story, Morris Goes to School, out loud for one last time. They laughed just as hard as the first. :)

While saying goodbye to the students, I was able to stay positive and tear free. But after getting in the van, waving, and watching them run after us, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I have really grown to love each and every one of my students, and it is hard knowing that I most likely won't ever see them again.

Tomorrow I will bid farewell to everyone and everything else. There is so much about this country that I cherish, and my experience here has brought me so much joy. Thank you all for your support and prayers, and I will see you soon!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Autumn in the Air

Walking into school this morning, I realized that the weather felt surprisingly similar to Michigan around this time of year. It was quite chilly and the ground was frosted with morning dew. The mornings and evenings are becoming colder here, making me wish that I had packed more pants and long sleeves. Soon it will be winter in South Africa, and the rains will become more frequent and predictable (or so I hear).

Every day with my Grade 3 children is a different experience. Some days I keep constantly busy, some days are slow, some days are overwhelming, and some days are joyous. Through it all, I am savoring every moment that I am given with these students. They are full of life, energy, and love. My teacher shows her heart for the children daily and I am always pleased to help her in any way that I can. My respect for her grows each time I am placed in a difficult situation during the school day.

Today I read the story "Morris Goes to School" to my students. It's about a moose named Morris who learns to count and read at school. The children got a kick out of it and seemed to interact with the text quite well. We discussed the genre of 'fantasy,' main idea, characters, and beginning/middle/end. They were engaged and very well behaved throughout the lesson, and they were able to document the experience by drawing pictures in their "creative workbooks" of the story. After coming to realize the difficulties many students have with reading comprehension due in part to language issues, I was impressed by the quality of their discussion and responses.

I also had the opportunity to improv teach a Grade 6 class last week. Their teacher came up to my room to request that I watch his class while he went to a meeting... of course I was willing and soon found myself in an Afrikaans speaking classroom full of twelve year olds with very little direction from the teacher. Instead of telling them to quiet down and read for who knows how long, I decided to do an interactive lesson with them on probability that I had learned in one of my math classes. I whipped out my handy unifix cubes and began teaching, hoping that they knew enough English to be able to understand and communicate with me. Although at the time the experience was difficult and frustrating due to their behavior, I look back on it fondly-- because I survived, had them engaging in probabilistic reasoning, and came to appreciate my own nine year old students in a new and significant way. Not necessarily something I would want to do again... but a good experience nonetheless. I am coming to find that God's plan for me (and others) here is much more meaningful than I/we realize at the time. His purpose may not be immediately clear, but it exists in very powerful ways that hopefully we are able to eventually discover.

The first weekend after school was spent in a beautiful beach house in Pringle Bay. To exit the house, you must first walk over a small sand dune to be surrounded by a beautiful sandy beach, the Atlantic Ocean, and mountainous landscape. It was gorgeous and the weekend was full of relaxation, delicious food, game playing, enjoying the outdoors, and laughter. Andrea and I found a small non-denom church on Sunday morning... and though we were some of the only people under the age 60 in attendance, everyone was very welcoming and we were glad that we went.

After school, I have spent time with my host family and group members, gone for walks, cooked and ate wonderful meals, prepared for teaching, and shopped around Stellenbosch. I continue to absolutely love my time spent here in this country, in this town, in this school, and in this home.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sharks and Students

Holiday has come to an end and school has begun! I arrived back in Stellenbosch on Friday afternoon and started in my Grade 3 English-speaking classroom on Monday.

The remainder of holiday was amazing-- a jam packed and very eventful 2 weeks. We traveled along the Garden Route and made several stops along the way.
Mossel Bay: Stayed for 3 nights, went to church on Easter, was shown around the town by one of the pastors (who is from Illinois), went adventure caving at Cango Caves which required us to squeeze through VERY small spaces, went to an ostrich farm and was able to sit on and ride an ostrich, shopped at an Afrikaans Arts Festival, and relaxed at a restaurant on the waterfront while waiting for our bus that had broken down to be fixed.
Montagu: Stayed for two nights, took a tractor ride up a beautiful mountain, enjoyed a traditional meal of potjiekos, which means cooked in small black pots over a fire. It consisted of rice, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, zucchini, and carrots, with malva pudding and ice cream for dessert. Also- wine tasting and time spent in the sun at a hot springs resort.
Cape Agulhas: Stayed for 1 night at a backpackers- explored the beach and ocean, petted and fed huge sting rays, went to the southernmost tip of the continent where the Indian and Atlantic Oceans meet, walked up to the top of the lighthouse at that point, visited a very small missionary town for lunch and a tour, more wine tasting.
Gansbaai: Expected to stay for 1 night in preparation for shark cage diving, but it was cancelled on Saturday due to rough seas. We all decided to stay one additional day, so we spent the free day hanging out and bonding as a group. Sunday was shark cage diving! We got on the boat and traveled for about 15 minutes into the Atlantic. Once we got out pretty far, they anchored and dropped the cage into the water. We got our wet suits on and waited for the sharks to come. I was in the first group of divers. There were 5 of us in the cage, and you hang out there above water until the people in charge yell 'DOWN!' At that point, you drop your legs and hold your breath to see the sharks face to face underwater. What an amazing experience! There were many sharks and they came extremely close to us... even biting the cage at one point. Afterwards, I watched the rest of the divers and the sharks from the upper deck. Fortunately, I wasn't seasick like many others in our group!

The first few days of school have been very interesting. It is extremely different than school back home and it definitely takes some adjusting to. There are 25 students, all coloured or black, and they wear uniforms and most come from the local townships (large areas of shacks). There is not a lot of time spent actually teaching... it's more that students are given things to work on and they do some small group practice with other things. Classroom management is a major issue, as the teachers often seem frustrated and have no strategies for dealing with the students.. which means they often resort to yelling or even hitting. It's hard to get used to. I have been doing a lot of the teacher's work such as copying, printing, laminating, typing, etc. I am glad to help in any way, but I'd rather be in the classroom working with the students.

Today I was able to teach them about America and what it's like. I showed them a map, pictures from home, and a book that American students wrote about their country. They were fascinated and had many questions to ask and stories to tell. I also taught them a basic clapping pattern to get their attention, and they responded to that really well. I am hoping that in this short time I can both get to know the students and implement teaching and management strategies that can be used after I leave. I'm also hoping to begin teaching more and more often!

After school, I really enjoy spending time with my host family and friends. We have been eating delicious dinners and getting to know each other. I'm thankful to have a nice place with very loving people to call home for these four short weeks.

Thanks for taking the time to be part of my experience! Grace and peace.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


I am currently at the Mossel Bay Backpackers hostel- enjoying some sunshine and relaxation (and a quick bit on the internet) after a busy and active couple of days. On Sunday we stayed in Knysna, on Monday we traveled to Addo Elephant Park where we saw elephants, warthogs, kudu, zebras, buffalo, dung beetles, and jackals, and on Wednesday we traveled to Tsitsikamma National Park and spent a couple of days ziplining and hiking along the Indian Ocean. It was beautiful!

Yesterday was the big day- BUNGY JUMPING! We arrived at the site of the world's highest bungy jump, Bloukrans Bridge (see below), at about 10AM. I had a moment of hesitation as I watched a couple of jumpers go, but I ignored it and registered as soon as possible. The walk up to the platform was long and quite terrifying, as the metal we walked on was completely see through. When we got to the center of the bridge, there was loud music playing and we all were totally pumped up and excited. The guys up there were awesome- encouraging and made each of us feel very safe. I was attached at the ankles, so I had to hop out to the edge of the bridge (with help) and put my toes over the edge. They then counted down for us 5-4-3-2-1-BUNGY! The jump was incredible. It was hard to tell what position I was in, where I was in relation to the ground or the bridge, or even whether I was falling or being pulled upwards. It lasted probably 2 minutes before I started coming to a stop. The feeling of hanging in the middle of a beautiful valley, listening to only my racing breath, was amazing.

After we got back to solid ground, we bought our photos (coming soon) and DVD of the jump and headed back onto the bus. What an incredible experience! I am so glad that this was part of the trip because I don't think I ever would have done it on my own.

We celebrated Easter at a quaint church we found right next door to our hostel, and one of the American guys we met there is "fetching" us shortly to show us around the beach town of Mossel Bay. I am still loving this country and cannot get enough of it! Tomorrow we are going to the Cango Caves, an ostrich farm, and a South African arts festival.

I hope you all are enjoying some warmer weather and the joy and peace of the resurrection!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

See ya later Stellenbosch, Hello Holiday

Today was our last day in Stellenbosch until April 10. Tomorrow morning we leave for a two week holiday where we will be traveling along the Garden Route (the southwestern coast of the continent). We have many fun and exciting things planned for this time including zip lining, going on safaris, bungy jumping (!), and shark cage diving.

These past two days have been wonderful. Yesterday we visited two of the tips of the continent, which were so incredibly beautiful. It was the greenest green and the bluest blue I have ever seen. The creation here is just breathtaking! I am constantly in awe of the beauty of this place.

I also have experienced my first wine tastings. They are so much fun and you get to try so many different wines! So far I have bought three bottles to take back home and share. Although I don't know much about wine yet, I do know that the wine here is truly some of the best in the world. Stellenbosch in particular is known for its wine.

I most likely won't be able to update until I return from holiday (but not sure at this point)... so I wish you all a wonderful two weeks!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Cape Town

The town I am staying in- Stellenbosch- is a quaint but quite large village. It is home to Stellenbosch University, so there are plenty of students and people our age. The majority of the people in the town are white, but there aren't many tourists (like us). The streets are lined with cute little shops and places to eat and the whole city is so GREEN... there are trees and grasses and bushes and flowers everywhere. It is incredibly beautiful. The neighborhoods are also clothed with trees and most of the houses have large gates, which is very different from home. It is about a 15 or 20 minute walk into town, but there is much to see and do. My host family consists of David (father), Margaret (mother), Ross, and Helen (two students about our age). They are very welcoming and I really enjoy being in their home and getting to know them!

Yesterday was long and busy, but I loved every minute of it. We woke up early to a somewhat cloudy, cool day and walked to the train station where we rode to Cape Town (the city that is pictured above). Cape Town is the largest city in South Africa, is the future home of the World Cup 2010, and is honestly the most beautiful city I have ever seen. The train spit us out right in the heart of it, and I really felt as though I was in South Africa as the large majority of people were black or coloured (as they call them here). There is lots of construction and maintenance going on right now, as the city is preparing to host the FIFA World Cup in June. As a sign read: "We've come a long way, but now is not the time to stop. Apologies. If construction causes delays, we're getting ready to welcome the world." I thought that was a perfect description of what is to come in South Africa. The African continent as a whole has never hosted the World Cup-- it certainly will bring about a great economic boost for the city as well as an awareness of the history and the amazing developments the country/city has made. The World Cup will also be held in eight other cities this year.

We continued walking through the city until we reached the harbour. Turning around to look behind us, we could see the cloudy landscape of Table Mountain (the large flat mountain above) with the buzzing city in front of it. This is an image that will never leave me. We boarded the ferry for Robben Island, which is where Nelson Mandela and other political prisoners were held during the apartheid era. This island is about 11 km away from Cape Town, and the view of Cape Town from the island is breathtaking. These black prisoners, who were banished there only because they had attempted to somehow rebel against apartheid, were mistreated and forced to do heavy labor and build their own prison cells. We were able to walk through the prisons, including Mr. Mandela's cell, which were cramped and empty. I can't imagine what it would be like to live in confinement like that for over 25 years! Robert Sobukwe, who was a black leader arrested after the Sharpeville Massacre (where many innocent South Africans were murdered or injured by white police officers), was also confined to Robben Island, however, he had his own housing area and was completely restricted from having any type of communication or interaction with the other prisoners. One of our tour guides was actually a prisoner there for 5.5 years, though he was sentenced to 30 years, so we were able to get an insider's perspective, which made it that much more meaningful. He was very interesting to talk to and opened up about everything that went on on the island.

We rode back into Cape Town and I grabbed a bean and cheese wrap at one of the fancy malls (this one happened to be waaay fancier than anything in West Mi!). We were able to look around and shop for a short while before heading back to the train station and back to Stellenbosch. After a long train ride and a long walk back home, we had a delicious meal of pasta with most of our host family and hung out as a group.

There is so much more I could say about this trip and each day, but I must get some sleep! Tomorrow we head to Cape Point, Cape of Good Hope, and Boulder National Park. Looking forward to it as always and feeling so incredibly blessed to be here.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

the most beautiful place on earth

I am having an absolutely wonderful time here so far! This country is even more breathtakingly beautiful than I ever could have expected and I am just so happy and blessed to be exactly where I am. The past two days have been full of getting to know our host families, eating delicious food (including gelato-yum!), exploring our village, hanging out with the group, and touring the schools that we will be teaching in. I found out that I am assigned to a Grade 3 English medium classroom, which will begin April 12.

Looking forward to the next five and a half weeks- including tomorrow, when we will visit Cape Town and Robben Island.

More updates to come! Sending my love.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Saying Goodbye

Yesterday was my last day with my Jamestown students (aren't they cute?). After a brief lesson on the country of South Africa, I had them write letters to a South African student that included information about themselves, what they liked about living in Michigan, and questions to ask their pen pal. I plan to bring these letters with me to share and will hopefully bring letters back home for them as well. The kids were very excited and some of them even taped on a "squishy," a little animal pencil topper that the students love to collect and trade (a big sacrifice for a 4th grader!). They also made me pictures and cards and signed a yearbook for me. It was a day full of hugs and well wishes, and I miss them already!

Tomorrow I plan to go to church with my family, visit my Nana, and have lunch with the South Africa group and our families before take-off at 3:30.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers! See ya later, U.S.A. :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Seven Days and Counting

Greetings friends and family!

My school assignments are complete and my suitcases are quickly filling up. On Sunday, March 21st, I will depart for a GVSU teacher assisting program in Stellenbosch, South Africa with six other students and our trip advisor. The six weeks that I am away will be divided into half traveling - half teaching, and I will arrive back home on May 2nd. I am incredibly blessed to have this opportunity and am more anxious and excited than I can express to see what the next two months have to offer!

Until then, I will be finishing up my current teacher assisting placement in Hudsonville, which has been a wonderful learning experience that I will be very sad to leave. The students-- loveable and lively-- have nestled their way into my heart since being with them for the past ten weeks. Once again, I am thankful for an opportunity that has allowed me to grow as a teacher and to develop relationships with thirty one special fourth graders. Saying goodbye won't be easy, but I am comforted knowing that I can come back to see them when I return.

I will do my best to provide updates as often as possible. Your prayers are greatly appreciated!



If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea- even there your hand will guide me; your right hand will hold me fast.
Psalm 139:9-10